Sailing on Unpredictable Seas...

Recently I was sitting in a cafe in Antigua drinking coffee with my friend, Val. I was sharing with her some of the hardships I am facing and how it is difficult to know which direction to take.

My delicious coffee :) 

 As Val looked at me over her steaming cup of rich dark Antiguan goodness, she said "Even though unpredictable is hard... it gives space for God to work." Her words stopped me... and I thought... she's right. Unpredictability gives space for God to work.

If you have read my earlier blogs, you know that God has taken me on a journey from being a planner to being a little more "flexible"throughout this journey. In fact I often joke and say that in the process of coming to Guatemala I attempted to "show God my 3-point plan and my PowerPoint" and tell Him how this journey was going to play out. You can imagine how that went over... I am fairly sure I heard God laughing at me. And here I am... NOT LIVING ACCORDING TO MY OWN PLAN. 

There are SO MANY THINGS that do NOT go according to plan when living on the mission field. Take what appears to be a "simple" trip to immigration. Often these trips turn into "all day events" which leave us mentally and physically exhausted due to changing paperwork, changing requirements, and waiting hours to be told that you are missing a form, have to pay a fine, or that your photos are the wrong size. Did I mention the guy who takes the photos uses a camera from the 1800s and develops the photos in THE BATHROOM?!! I kid you not!!

Everyone is excited about immigration

Other things that have taught me a lot about unpredictability and flexibility are things like when the date of school graduation gets moved because they haven't been able to get the diplomas printed on time... or when classes get canceled to celebrate one of the many Guatemalan holidays such as the "National Day of Corn"... or protesters shut down the MAIN HIGHWAY into the city and the only other route takes you an hour and a half in the wrong direction... or when you're taking a shower after a morning run and the water pressure slowly drops until there is NO WATER coming out of the shower and you have a head full of shampoo...or when suddenly there is traffic heading at you head on on a major highway because they open a travel lane on the opposite side of the road during heavy traffic times... All things that are unpredictable and don't go according to "my plan". 

I often remember that for many of our students at Source of Hope, the future is equally unpredictable. Two weeks ago was the last "official" week of school, and it was the last time I will see some of our students. We have students who will not be able to continue studying with us because of poor grades or behavior issues. We have sixth graders who will not be returning to school in order to go into the workforce and help support their families. We have fourteen ninth graders that are graduating and heading onto higher education or other opportunities. 

I would be lying if I said that I don't worry about "my" kids and the myriad of unpredictable things that may come their way. I worry about their opportunities to find "good" employment that will support their families and not cause them to age beyond their years with

The Picture that didn't go according to plan:) 

hard labor and poor working conditions. I worry that young ladies will make decisions that ultimately impede their future plans for a career or an education. I worry that some of our student's parents let them roam a little too freely in a country where sexual abuse and violence are often a cultural norm. I worry that they have enough food to eat and their own bed to sleep in. I worry... I worry about all the unpredictable things that may happen to them in a culture of unpredictability. 

And then I remember... Life is not going to be lived according to my plan. I need to let go.. and remember... that God is big enough. He is big enough to take care of my kids (ALL 194 OF THEM). He is big enough to take care of me. He is big enough to take care of my family back in the States. He is big enough. And to Him... NOTHING IS UNPREDICTABLE.

See, when things are unpredictable and we are "blindsided" by things we didn't see coming.. we learn to depend on God to get us through. It is in these times that as Val said "we give God room to work". I can and I do worry about my kids, but I must remember that His plans are higher than my plans and
His ways are higher than my ways. When I'm hit with news from home that shakes me to the core, I have to trust His plan beyond my own and know that He's got this. Nothing surprises Him. Even when things seem unpredictable... I need to remember... He knew me before I was formed in my mother's womb... He knows the number of hairs on my head.. and He knows what tomorrow brings.. and He knows the exact moment when I will take my last breath. 

So, I choose to let go. I'm laying down my plans.. what I think it should look like... and I choose to let life be unpredictable. I choose to give Him room to work. 

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog. I am grateful for each of you, your love, and your support. 

Blessings,

Meaghen