Swimming Together

  For the past month I have been at the Center for Intercultural Training (CIT) with an incredible group of missionaries attending classes from 8:30AM-3:30PM on Monday-Friday. I "graduated" this past Friday and I can't begin to explain the changes that have taken place over the past month.

Fall 2015 CIT Training

  Living in community was a big change for me, as I currently live ALONE in a cozy one bedroom house. So, sharing the kitchens and bathrooms with six other women was a bit of an adjustment for me. However, when I got home and settled back in I was overwhelmed by the solitude and quiet that surrounded me once again. Mornings at CIT were bustling. Starting around 7AM the dorm would come to life with sounds and people. The sound of alarms going off waking ladies from a night of sleep, dodging each other in the kitchen making coffee, the sound of hair dryers, the sound of music drifting from the rooms as ladies got ready for their day, the echoes of "good morning" said to one another, and the increasing sense of urgency as the time to attend class crept closer punctuated the weekday mornings. The routine continued when we returned home at the end of the day and dinner was made, homework was completed, and social activities were planned and executed. Living among other people quickly became my "new normal" although I did have to retreat to the seclusion of my room to have some alone time from time to time.

  Upon returning home, I realized very quickly how alone I was. My little house was very quiet and no one greeted me when I walked in the door. I cooked dinner and I wasn't "dancing" with anyone else who was trying to use the kitchen. There was plenty of hot water because no one else had showered before me. There was no music, no conversations, and no hum of other people living around me. I was alone, and I missed the ladies I had spent the past four weeks living with.

  I realize that all of CIT is structured intentionally to help you acclimate to living in community. The majority of the world is a collectivist society which means that they live together, work together, and do what is necessary for the good of the group. The United States is starkly different. We are extremely individualistic and we are out for ourselves and our best interest. We like to be independent and we like to do it on our own. My time at CIT has changed my viewpoints on more things than I could write in this post (or that you would want to read), but I will say that I like living in a collectivist society and I miss my CIT family.When I get to Guatemala, I  know that I will be living with another female missionary and sharing a small apartment, and even sharing a bedroom with her. We will be living in a small rural village where we are the only two people from the United States, and we will be immersed in a collectivist culture. I expect a certain amount of culture shock and it may be a slow acculturation process. However, I am grateful for the opportunity to experience a taste of collectivist culture before heading to Guatemala, and I know my experiences at CIT will smooth out what may still be a bumpy transition. I am reminded of the Psalm 68:6 which states that God puts the lonely into families, and I realize that man is made for relationships with other people. God has created us for community. We are made to work together, live together, support each other, and walk beside each other throughout life.

Part of My Goofy Family 

  As I prepare to leave in a little more than two months, I am reflecting on my relationships. I know I will miss my family, my friends, and my support systems here in the United States. However, I have a quiet peace that honestly does surpass all understanding. As I sit in my quiet house, I look around and I feel sad when I realize that I won't live in this place much longer. I think about the things I am giving up to follow God's call... things like my two beloved dogs... and of course.. cheese.. yes.. it's ridiculous.. but most of the world does not have cheese like we do in the United States. I'm serious!! Still.. I have a peace (even without cheese). I know it's going to be ok. I feel like I am standing on the edge of something much bigger than I can imagine. I am so excited about what lies ahead. I am excited to see what friends I will make a long the way, what life will begin to look like, and where this journey will take me.

  I do want to thank each of you for your prayers, support, and encouragement. Know that you are all part of my family, and I am grateful to have each one of you to help support me a long the way. I cherish your prayers.

 
Blessings,
Meaghen

I AM The River

Today, I had the opportunity to worship at La Casa del Alfarero (The Potter's House) which is in Asheville, NC. This is the second time that I have attended this church. The first time I attended it was as an assignment for the intercultural training I have been attending for the past month.The entire service is in Spanish. All of the church goers are of Latino descent, they pray in Spanish, they sing in Spanish, and the sermon....you guessed it.... is in Spanish. During my first visit, I was overwhelmed by the love, the kindness, and the openness with which I was received. The pastor even mentioned that I was a special guest and I was a missionary to Guatemala who was joining them so that I could practice my Spanish. At least a dozen people hugged and prayed for me during that first visit.  If you have never had the opportunity to worship God in another language.. I highly recommend it. It is an AWESOME experience. It's also a chance to brush up on your language skills which is also one of my motivations for attending La Casa de Alfarero. Apparently my Spanish language ability is lacking in the vocabulary of spiritual matters. I guess somewhere between learning Spanish in high school and practicing it in law enforcement these words escaped me :) For some reason learning how to pray in Spanish is not something I practiced regularly while giving instructions to standardized field sobriety tests in Spanish... go figure :)

So, I decided to attend La Casa de Alfarero once again today. I was once again met with enthusiasm, love, and acceptance. In fact, after speaking with one of the ladies for a few minutes, she informed me that when I return on furlough from Guatemala I am welcome to come stay with her because I am now considered family. This is only one small part of why I have fallen in love with this culture.

Today, as we were singing one of the worship songs, the phrase "El Gran Yo Soy" was repeated multiple times in the chorus.  The way the words were separated on the screen confused me and I was interpreting it in my head as I am belonging to The Great One... I kept pondering what this meant as I had never heard of God referred to in this matter, and then it dawned on me.. when I looked at the phrase as a single phrase it read "The Great I AM". I began to think of the fact that I AM is the present tense. It's interesting how you notice tenses more when you're reading in other languages. Think about that for a moment... God is not referred to as  The Great I WAS... or The Great I WILL BE.. but The Great I AM. He is in the present tense. He is whatever we need in THIS MOMENT. I AM your peace. I AM your joy. I AM your strength. I AM your shield. I AM your protector. I AM your provider. I AM.

I began to think about this on another level. Am I letting Him be I AM in my life? Have I tried to be.. or fill.. or create whatever it is I need Him to be? Am I treating Him like I WAS or I WILL BE? Am I letting Him be what I need in the moment? I AM is present. He wants us to walk this journey with Him and depend on Him in THIS MOMENT. We are not to look to Him as a God who did great things in history or a God who will one day do great things in the future. He is I AM.

I thank you for reading my blog. I hope you find it encouraging, and are enjoying the journey that God is taking me on. 

Blessings,
Meaghen

Cry Me A River

This past Friday, I cried at a Kleenex commercial. Yes, you read that right. I cried.. at.. a Kleenex.. commercial. Yes, me. I actually broke down crying.. at a silly commercial. Ok.. you may think.. so what's the big deal?

Well, some of you may not know that I was a police officer for nine years until I finally surrendered to God's call on my life to enter into full time ministry. As a police officer I was trained to detach myself emotionally from what is going on around me. It is a survival technique that helps you stay cool and collected when everything around you is hectic and traumatic. As a police officer, I got very good at detaching myself emotionally from almost everything around me. This began to creep into my personal life as well. I became emotionally distant with all but a few friends, often my family, and I almost convinced myself that I could separate emotions from nearly any situation. I had also become cynical towards life and I was usually suspicious of people who came across as overly friendly (again.. I was trained to always expect the worst and try to think ahead of someone who may be trying to get one over on me). All of these attributes were necessary to the job I was doing, but they had become part of who I was.

So, little by little through the process of surrender God has been chipping away at my heart and turning me into a softy until last Friday... when I cried at a Kleenex commercial. I look back and I am amazed at the work God has done in my heart. He has taken a hard hearted independent woman who would not bat an eye at the pain and suffering of another.. who would only cry in the safety of her own room.. and never ever ever admit it.. to a woman who cried at a thirty second Kleenex commercial in front of thirty other people. God is doing a work! I am still not sure that I like being that girl who cries at Kleenex commercial, but I know that being emotionally available and present is something which is necessary for what lies ahead in His plan.

After I wiped my tears from the commercial, my friend Sten said something rather impactful that I would love to share with you. She said, "The Holy Spirit gets inside of you, then it comes out your eyeballs." I had to laugh. That was exactly what was happening. God's Spirit at work inside of me was coming out my eyeballs. The tears were evidence of a heart change that is taking place and is a part of Him molding me into the person He planned for me to be. The tears were the evidence of the Holy Spirit working in me in that moment. It was evidence of a change taking place. I like that.

What heart changes are you facing? Is God trying to make you softer? Is He trying to make you more patient? Maybe He is trying to make you more bold in Him. Whatever it is, let Him do His work. He has a plan, and most of us need to change to be a part of what He wants to do in us and through us. You may end up crying, with me, over Kleenex commercials, but it's who He wants us to be!!

Thanks for reading my blog. 

Blessings,
Meaghen