A Season of Growth...

  I recently started reading the book Growing Strong in the Seasons of Life by Charles Swindol. Someone had left the book in the team room this past year, and the book sat on my shelf for a long time. I honestly wasn’t interested in reading it because the cover art made me think it was a romance novel (it’s actually a weekly devotional book that reflects on the seasons of the year)!! Ha ha ha… Funny how God has a way of depositing things in our lives that will be useful at later times!!  I begrudgingly picked it up earlier this week (at the Holy Spirit’s prompting) and I began to read.

  "Is it winter right now in the season of your life? Are you feeling depressed… alone… overlooked… spiritually on “hold”… cold… barren? Beginning to wonder if your soul will ever thaw? Entertaining doubts that behind those thick, gray clouds there exists a personal, caring God?... When this winter season ends, you’ll be wiser, deeper, stronger. Therefore, in reverence, look up. Be still and discover anew that He is God. That He is doing “whatever He pleases” in your life"(Swindol, 1983, p. 24).

  As I read the words above, I was taken aback by every sentiment the author expressed. It’s like Charles Swindol had climbed inside my mind and my soul and was recounting how I had often felt in the past few months. As many of you know, the past few months have been… rough… and by

An Aerial View of the School (On the Right)

rough… I mean REALLY ROUGH…  Following the death of a friend and fellow missionary in mid-March, I was struck with an illness at the end of April that led me to the hospital for medical attention after I passed out not once but twice in the village, I continued to have residual symptoms and pain for the next three weeks and struggled with fear and anxiety over whether I should return to the doctor or if I should trust that God was healing me, I have been attacked by fear and nightmares in the night and had more than one night of sleep stolen by this fear, I have struggled with feelings of loneliness and isolation as I am the ONLY ENGLISH SPEAKING AND NON-GUATEMALAN PERSON in the village, and I have struggled with feelings of guilt over not returning to the States to help my family accommodate my mother as she transitioned from working full-time to a well-deserved and needed season of retirement.  There have been times that I have thought to myself… Where is God? Why is this happening? Why am I getting hit so hard right now? Why?!!!

However, looking back I CAN see my growth. I can see that through the winter season I have grown wiser, deeper, stronger. There have been times when all I could do was “be still and discover anew that He is God” (Swindol, 1983, p. 24). But it is in those places, where all I could do was to be still that I have encountered the peace that surpasses all understanding, I have encountered His presence that has assured me that everything would work out in the end, and I have seen God come through and show that HE IS WITH ME AND CARING FOR ME.

All though we mourned the loss of a friend and missionary in March, his wife has been and continues to be such an example of strength and endurance. We have also witnessed God’s goodness and restoration when in April she gave birth to their second earthly child… a little boy. Also, our friend’s legacy lives on as the ministries he helped establish continue to grow and flourish.

Even though I was hit with an illness and lost consciousness in a remote village in Guatemala, there “just happened” to be not one.. BUT TWO U.S. doctors visiting when the event occurred, and they came running to provide immediate medical attention. Also, with the doctors was a team from the local church which included someone who could drive me out of the village and to the hospital for medical attention (no one at the school can drive). God KNEW what was going to happen… and put everything in place to provide EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED IN THAT MOMENT.

Despite struggling with residual symptoms and pain, I have heard God’s voice reassuring me again and again that He would heal me. It wasn’t instantaneous (I would have preferred instantaneous), but in the journey He showed me… that I CAN TRUST HIM… THAT HE IS WITH ME… AND HE STILL DOES WORK MIRACLES. And today… I AM FREE OF PAIN AND SYMPTOMS. I AM HEALED.

Although I have been hit with fear and nightmares, I have learned the importance of “doing battle together” (kinda tough for someone who has been largely independent her entire life). I have reached out to several friends and powerful prayer warriors to pray with me and for me, and they pray faithfully when a need arises. I have also learned more about my own power and authority in Christ. I have grown bolder in my authority to speak to fear, to speak to anxiety, to deny feelings of loneliness, to rebuke the attack of the enemy, and to call down His protection. Don’t get me wrong… I knew I had this power and authority.. and I had prayed many similar prayers before… but there is something about waking up in the middle of the night from a terrifying nightmare… being completely alone… feeling almost a tangible presence of fear…  and recognizing that WE HAVE THAT POWER… and using it with boldness.

Even though I could not be physically present to help my family with my mother’s transition, my sister has stepped up in an incredible way and is keeping us all advised of important information and developments (she’s a nurse practitioner). Also, my relationship with my sister has grown in a way that it would not have had we not been navigating this journey together.

So, yes… Mr. Charles Swindol is correct. It is in those times that we can only be still that we grow… we grow wiser, deeper, and stronger (Swindol, 1983). So… I have learned to be grateful for the hard times. I have learned to look for the growth in my own life, and celebrate it. Also, as a close mentor told me “It’s when you’re getting your butt kicked that you know you’re where God wants you to be ” (appropriate paraphrase).

So take heart, my friends. If you’re in a winter season… Look for the growth. Remember… it’s in those moments when we can only be still that we grow. God is still there. He’s still working. He’s not dead or deaf. He’s with us in the midst of it all. Don’t give up. Growth is not always pleasant, fun, or pretty. But it is necessary. When we come out of that season we will be stronger, deeper, and wiser (Swindol, 1983).

Thank you for being on this journey with me. I appreciate each of you as we pass through the seasons of life together.

Blessings,

Meaghen

References:

Swindol, C. (1983). Growing Strong in the Seasons of Life. Portland, OR: Multnomah Press.